Working While Black - How Our Black Struggle Affects Mental Health
Written by our guest, Kareen Onyeaju. Kareen is a client of Easeful Alchemy, as she manages the program as Culture Coordinator at Ada Support. Working with her, she is a passionate advocate and mobilizier of mindset and mental health support for the employees at her company. We admire her positive, proactive and collaborative approach to working together to improve employees wellbeing, and, have implemented programs based on her recommendation. Originally from Ottawa, she has experience working in race, ethnicity and culture at Carleton University and is passionate about cultivating diverse programming for BIPOC youth in Canada.
Most of last week, I have tried to remind myself that I should allow my expressions of anger, betrayal and sadness to pass without guilt. I have reminded myself that feeling these emotions are normal, in abnormal times. After five days of trying to manage my own heartbrokenness for the black global community, I decided to reach out to a mental health therapist. Finding the strength to wake up for work as a black woman has been challenging. I become overwhelmed with stress when I think of my friends and my family who have been suffering from the same pain. How are they managing their blackness? Some of whom have begun to unravel at the mercy of their own trauma.
The newsreels are impossible to avoid; another black life disposed of. A lynching, strewn across social media for the world to see.
I struggled to sleep last week, weeping in frustration sometimes until 4 AM. I was worried that my thoughts would get in the way of a job I love and that I would let my team down. One morning, after summoning the remnants of my energy to get out of bed, a colleague reached out to me. They let me know that although they could not begin to understand how I felt, they were ready and available to listen.
Even at my lowest point last week, exhausted and miserable, I wanted to show up for my team. I realized after speaking with the therapist, that I had shown up for them.
Showing up for my team meant speaking honestly about how I was feeling, and listening attentively to our company objectives to fight against oppression.
I had shown up for my team, by seeking help when I felt I no longer could manage my sorrow on my own. Subconsciously, I was trying to “show up” for myself.
To our employers who have kept an eye out for body language that may suggest that we are broken, thank you. To our employers that suggest we take time off to decompress and are advocates for change - thank you for paying attention.
For those who haven’t done these things, let this be a reminder that working in black skin means working alongside insurmountable pressure.
As I work today, I know that this pressure may not subside today or tomorrow. I know that I am a powerful black woman and that I will persevere. I also know that I’ve had enough.
I urge you to read and educate yourself. As an employee; manager, or employer:
https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
